The Devil's Carpet

As it's hopefully now quite clear, I don't blog here anymore. Frankly, I got tired of talking about myself in such a format as this. While I have accounts at almost every social networking site, if you want to get in touch with me, the only things I really check regularly (neurotically) are my Facebook and my e-mail (victoria dot crowell at gmail dot com). I also use instant messengers. Feel free to add me to any or all of these.

Every once in a while I still check in here, but not often. So if you try to get in touch with me through this format, it's probably not going to work.

Voting is anonymous, and not just open to my LJ readers but everyone. My reasoning is that the move might create an environment in which I feel more compelled to write more often (the goal would be daily) and more seriously.

Poll #1445603 The Big Move?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Assuming I feed it into LJ and you could respond via OpenID (and I still comment aplenty here), would you continue to read if I switched to Blogspot?

How much more likely would you be to read and/or comment?

Taylor contends in A Secular Age that the way we make our lifestyle choices, at least initially, does not start from a overarching, cohesive system of some means of reaching transcendence, but instead from our desire to construct an ethic that would lead us to an everyday life similar to that of people we admire. This did not sit well with me, at first. Admittedly, I am one who tends to fall prey to the search for an ultimate, exceptionless system, even if I have been able to realize, in recent years, that this search is unlikely at best. I also didn't like the idea, because it meant that people, in certain situations, might be much less likely to be able to grasp at a certain sense of transcendence.

Nonetheless, reflecting on my life, this has been quite true. In recent years, I have spent a lot of my relationship with Christianity grappling with the fact that I couldn't abide much of the theology as it had been taught to me, but I admired so many people's Christian lifestyles. That is part of my love of the Shaker lifestyle, with their simple provision of work. In the present, my visit with parelle and elwe a year ago has become sort of an archetype for that for me. It's hard for me to put into words, but their lifestyle was perhaps the first glimpse for me into what a certain form of life lived for God could look like. What I admired about their lifestyles was how simple it seemed for them to have interwoven their faith in with their practical lifestyle in ways I couldn't understand, and am only now beginning to as I mature. It was those examples that have kept me attempting to pursue a Christian lifestyle to the point where, now, it begins to make sense again.

A similar, although not religious, process has encouraged my pursuit to become a professor. Academics are something I'm good at, yes, but I could be good at a great many things. But I admire the lifestyle of many of my professors here at Centre. They seem to lead rich lives, full of ideas, thoughts, and good company exploring them, as well as a fierce dedication to their families. Admittedly, this is not every professor I have, but it is the lifestyle of my favorites. It is an example of the type of life that I could potentially have and enjoy also.

I cannot deny, then, that there is a certain truth to Taylor's statement. As much as we would like to say that our ethics and theological systems stem from well-though, logical approaches to life, the truth is that it remains very much a "monkey see, monkey do." The truth is, there is never enough time to both find the system and live it. We make provisional judgments every day, as most of us don't have the luxury of halting life for unanswered questions. Moreover, I'm discovering there is nothing wrong with that. Why discount examples of a life lived how you'd like? It's a success story to follow.

In other news, theory camp was featured on the front page of Centre's website. Check it out.

1436/1436hp 870/893mp 394/406mvt 1:00am
29374tnl Dragonslayers Fine Dining:
You say in a high pitched voice (to Heolstor) 'So, you wanna join Verminasia?'
Heolstor says 'yes. it's perfect for my lawful evil, dark elf mage.'
You blink.

Ryan: I came to a realization
Ryan: We're going to be the Foremans from that 70's Show
Ryan: I'm going to be Red
Ryan: And you're going to be my adorable lush that gets too perky when she drinks
Ryan: *nod*

We've come a long way through Charles Taylor's A Secular Age. Last night we read some of the final chapters of the book, aptly titled "Dilemmas." Throughout these two chapters, Taylor restates the same basic problem in nuanced ways numerous times, largely to insulate himself against any group claiming they are the exception to this crisis. The dilemma boils down to this: absolutely every philosophy juggles the question of striking some balance between, as he terms it, "aspirations to transcendence" and "the cherishing of ordinary human desire." For Christians, this dichotomy is found in the narrative of Christ himself. Christ transcended this world and sin through his sacrificial death, ultimately bringing us salvation. As we are not deities, we cannot transcend in the same way, however. Instead we look to other ways of transcendence and one shines even in this narrative. For the death of Christ to have been truly a sacrifice, that means that the idea of human flourishing, the act of being a human and living in this world, must be a good, as Christ's sacrifice of it is indeed a sacrifice. Yet to live totally in this world denies the object of Christ's sacrifice. Thus we find ourselves in the dilemma, with Wall Street yuppies firmly planted in the here and now, the monastics seeking to soar above us on the other pole, and at least myself, somewhere trying to make sense of where to draw my line in the middle sand.

When reading of this dilemma, however, my (albeit very historically-oriented) mind immediately went to the Shakers. I have long admired not only their ideas but much of how they played out within their lifestyle. Since the largest preserved Shaker village is a mere twenty minutes from Centre College, I loaded up fellow theory camper Scott Meltzer and decided to take a trip:

( Pictures and Reflection )

This Friday through Sunday I went to DSL Con, a convention for the people who play the same text-based role-playing game as me. It was held down in Gatlinburg, a lovely city (apart from the traffic which, while not insane, is unbearably slow, but I knew this going in). The actual convention took place in a chalet in the central part of Gatlinburg. We, being Ryan, angel_of_olore, koki_no_42837, Geneva and I, followed by psychobunny07 and her boyfriend's Saturday appearance, stayed in our own cabin a good 45 minutes or so away in Seviereville.

( The Synopsis and Pictures )

Chaos and order and its roles within a specifically Christian context (though, for non-christians, whatever moral and ethical context you subscribe to): Discuss.

(Is one inherently good or evil? If so, which? How do we temper them? What is their value? And so on...) For more context, check out my professor's thoughts.

Following zim_4_prez's lead, I decided to go ahead and do one of these for fun. Feel free to do or not do, whether anonymously or with your real name. It'll be fun, and I'd appreciate it.

Positive adjectives: Johari

Negative adjectives: Nohari

It's time that I more than abstractly thought about the GRE, and so I bought a practice book after theory camp today. I need to take it fairly soon, particularly if my scores aren't where I'd like once I take the diagnostic test.

What can you guys tell me about it? What's a good GRE score (specifically for entering a history graduate program)? Any tips, tricks, or hints regarding it?

Today, in spite of my fear of lizards, I stuck my hand in a gecko cage to give it water. Then I went grocery shopping and checked the eggs before I bought them, like my mommy always taught me, and managed to avoid buying two cartons with broken eggs.

If life is about small victories, today I win at life.

This is my roommate, Mariel, rapping about Centre and specifically our "4-person suite." She has quite a few of these up on Facebook, including a bash on Twilight that I got the joy of hearing her create a few days ago. (The volume is really low on this, so you'll need to crank it up. The lyrics are included in the "info" section.):

Getting our statistics from Upward Bound summer evaluations back makes it all worthwhile. I taught two of the four math classes this summer, plus an HTML class:

Q: Of the services listed below, what do you feel was most beneficial to you this summer? Check all that apply.
A: 71% Math (The highest of any of the subjects/activities, by far.)

Q: Describe the highlights of the 2009 summer program.
A: Guitar class, HTML class, Ms. Eva, Ms. Tori, and Mr. Ryan. (Only we, and one more teacher were mentioned.)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is an Oprah Book Club top 25 pick for summer. I bet Oprah's team regrets simply posting the reading questions that come with the book, however:

8. Vomit plays an important role in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Mrs. Bennet frequently vomits when she's nervous, coachmen vomit in disgust when they witness zombies feasting on corpses, even the steady Elizabeth can't help but vomit at the sight of Charlotte lapping up her own bloody pus. Do the authors mean for this regurgitation to symbolize something greater, or is it a cheap device to get laughs?

(Also, this officially inaugurates the "zombie" tag on the LJ, since I've officially written enough including them.)

I'm definitely back at Centre, all right. Random showers and all:



I'm living in Pearl Hall, the really nice, brand new, eco-friendly dorm on campus. I'm in a suite with three other girls in singles. Meaning, there are four bedrooms, two shower and baths, a common living area, and a kitchen/cabinet space that lacks only a stove. Basically, I'm living a pretty sweet life. I'm also back to free gym and library access, which are two other big pluses for me. I'm also very glad that my roommates seem to have a similar commitment to eating healthy and ethically, so we have many organic and farmer's market foods about. Last night I cooked a fairly delicious meal of almond-crusted tilapia, salad with sun-dried tomato dressing, blueberries, a small piece of cheddar cheese, and sparkling grape juice. I took pictures, but have apparently forgotten the connector cord for my camera, so they'll have to wait for a later date.

( On my summer job and the art of teaching history. )

"Now I believe that an examination of this age as secular is worth taking up in a third sense, closely related to the second (the falling off of or lack of belief), and not without connection to the first ("separation of church and state" or the ability to participate in a public sphere without having to be faced with God/religion). This would focus on the conditions of belief. The shift to secularity, in this sense consists, among other things, of a move from a society where belief in God is unchallenged and indeed, unproblematic, to one in which it is understood to be one option among others, and frequently not the easiest to embrace."

This is an excerpt from Charles Taylor's A Secular Age, what I'm reading in theory camp this summer (italics mine). I'm only on the third page of the introduction and already quite interested, although intimidated. The book is dense - I already have a page of notes and questions just from the first three pages - and measures in at a hefty 776 pages. Still, it should prove fun and compelling.

This pretty 1980s-tastic movie (recommended by the boyfriend) really made my night last night. It's all posted to Youtube, in 10 parts. There are all sorts of gender issues inherent, combined with horror, fantasy, and fairy tales, which of course make it excellent. The Path, a recent horror game, must have been based on this movie. I also highly recommend it; it's about $5 on Steam.

I decided it was time for a new e-mail address, for a few reasons, most of them revolving around my having had the same handle (toric13) since I was 13, and thus it's getting a bit old, and needing gmail for its features such as a calendar which syncs back and forth between my iTouch, etc. Thus, please update all your address books to:

victoria.crowell@gmail.com

I'll still try to check ye olde Yahoo sporadically, but mostly it's going to be out of commission.

Someone make the 32 gig Ipod Touch not $399. Right now.

Edit: I settled for the 16 gig. It is my new baby.